Meraki Journeys

 Qigong and Addiction Recovery Addiction and Benefits of qigong   I had been craving a cigarette and feeling quite uncomfortable. I noticed qigong helped alleviate much of that and left me feeling very in tune with my body and at peace. I did this morning qigong routine  https://youtu.be/6Z9s7tf8gxw?si=ZLO26JIQUxL7bAks with a bestfriend, also in addiction recovery, at my house one morning. She really enjoyed it and we both agreed we should try to find someone to teach classes to our AA groups. I will find and pay for an instructor as a gift for the folks there! (Update: OR I will try to teach them myself...) I bought these and a few extras to give as gifts :)                                                      "Chi Kung in Recovery: Finding Your Way to a Balanced and Centered Recovery" - Gregory S. Pergamont has used the 12 Step recovery process through AA and found Chi Kung later as an enhancement recovery.   https://www.amazon.com/Chi-Kung-Recovery-Balanced-Centered-ebook

listen to this:  https://youtu.be/nvmOoSFhhJ4?si=MApZyaPIUbYJJxUn   - Hang Massive "The Secret Kissing of the Sun and Moon" (Yesterday, the yoga instructor had this song on the playlist! I know it very well since its on a few playlists of mine. More on her yoga/meditation in a minute.) Read this:  https://www.centertao.org/essays/tao-te-ching/dc-lau/chapter-28-commentary/    " As the years go by it becomes easier to  keep to the role of the disgraced . I realize I’m nothing special—just a life form here for a moment and then gone."  -I like these thoughts. Very similar to my own. I like to think of myself as a small grain of sand.  Ecstatic Dance   Yesterday was a truly beautiful day. If only I could re-live a few times. I dedicated my ecstatic dance to end my rendezvous with smoking cigarettes. It was time. I was done with it.   It was Day 4 of quitting all the things. As soon as Thanksgiving break started, I quit smoking, drinking coffee, taking herbs and felt lik

 https://youtu.be/QH3Fx41Jpl4?si=RNm7e9FjFlrjvjSl   Nina Simone "Sinnerman"  Negotiations with the Universe holding myself to impeccable standards so often doing what is asked of me being my truest self at the places I am called to Where is my lot motherfucker? an anger seethed forward do you not hear me? like a game of chicken Knowing my worth I entered into these negotiations with a cigarette in hand I am a small stupid human but I will be heard every morning, day, night light, puff and stare into the Heavens asking the Universe What do you want with me?  You will hear me You will answer Give me at least something something that feels like mine spark drag puff  What do you want with me?  Give me at least something something that feels like mine spark drag puff  Give me at least something something that feels like mine over and over and over relentless squaring off staring straight into the face of the creator, the source, Nature, ancestors you will not fuck with me over and

 Blogging and Studio/Business Intentions I have been meditating on embracing art and vulnerability. I intended for this blog to only have business related content. Is art my business? or is it a hobby that happens to be registered... I got sick and accidentally/compulsively wrote a much more revealing post. A tiny window into my mind. The way I think and make things. My hidden language. Most every experience somehow gets interpreted into a visual representation. I see it. The things I feel.  So, I decided to put my old blog posts into this one. I added updates to them so that's cool. 

  Endometriosis Pain and Unexplained Infertility I didn't know there was a name for it. The debilitating hell of pain that I would go through every month. I would scream and cry and sit hunched over with my hands digging into the ground. Like an animal. I made a deal with god that he/she could take my arm once. My right arm. The one I paint and sew with. They could fucking take it if they stopped the pain. god turned their face from me.  When I did mention the pain to doctors, both women and men, they shrugged it off.  I painted this in my young 20's before even moving to California. For some reason I see the black lines now as needles for IVF which I tried this year at 38.  "The pain is all in your head. Every woman has pain during their period. Suck it up its part of being a woman. You are stressed out that's why you have pain." I was stressed and emotional FROM the pain. motherfuckers. The look of shock. Immense pain and trauma. In California  Its all in my hea

*This is at the Sunflower house I was driving in the middle of the state of Utah among mountains, the beautiful sky and farm animals. It was absolutely stunning and I heard a few songs with something that reminded me of the ukulele. I knew of a music shop in town that I could buy one from and decided that was the first thing I was doing when I got back.  I named her Gloria I made a case from some fabric I thought suited the instrument. I quilted it and used my serger on the inside seams. It has the printed top layer, thick fleece and upholstery fabric for lining. I traced around it leaving a seam allowance. The edge pieces start wider for the base of the instrument and taper toward the tuning pegs. I inserted 2 zippers and serged the seams  I serged all the pieces together, while holding my breath! There was a lot of layers! Quilted detail:

   Zelda Rupee Mobile *This is at the Sunflower House  I finally finished a rupee mobile idea I had started a few years ago. Its made from clay, scrap wood, copper wire, fishing line and wooden beads. More of the Zelda room here:  Zelda Room Imgur album . (This is my office, game/tv room.) The Imgur album has a complete walkthrough of my mural making adventure!

 *This is at the Sunflower House I signed up for quilt classes at my local sewing store and I am working on a variation of a "Lonestar". I am using all scraps from my fabric stash based on the bright floral fabric. I am learning a ton about my machine, piecing techniques and tools.  I am so grateful to have the time, money and space to pursue hobbies. It brings tears to my eyes when I think back on the roach and mold infested trailer I lived in for years. I was not with a stable partner. I was with someone who leeched off me and contributed nothing. I sacrificed hard to save and pay off debt so that I can have the things I want and need now. It was hard. I do everything with an immense sense of gratitude.  The quilting class is a great bunch of women and men too. All types of people work on quilts! Just in the first class we got to talking a bit serious on traumas in life and how we all cope and heal with art and quilting. I knew immediately I was in the right place and time